Never sell your friends, despite what the network marketers say. For one thing, if they’re smart, they know you’re doing it and, either way, it shows a lack of respect. Likewise don’t feed the perpetual salesman, by affecting that bewildered sheep nod that they like so well. Let your body language indicate that you’re not that dumb. I’m about to utter sales heresy here: ABC (always be closing) is not the “key” to relationships. Outside of the day’s business negotiations, it’s a form of narcissism and the sure ticket to a shallow reduction of all relationships to a gratification of self. It ends in the deprivation of the fullness of meaningful connections with others. You never really find out what a life with others could be like without the barrier of one-sided goals.
I’ve known pathological sellers – people who get hooked on salesmanship and sell all the time; not necessarily products; they sell a constant stream of perception the way others tell white lies. It’s their besetting vice. Listening to them is like a constant commercial about their preferences. People that waste your time with such things may think they’re being clever or fancy themselves polite, but actually they’re just creating a debt of trust. Who wants to be ‘handled’ all the time?
Unfortunately, most salesmen are bad at it, so when you’re looking bored and put off, they don’t seem to notice or care. They just keep doing their routine, like clueless young men driven by hormones to keep hitting on the same dry well for a date. If you know the person well enough, or barely at all, it’s often sufficient to respond to what they’re doing rather than what they’re saying. If they’ve half an IQ point, they’ll get that you get it. If you get through and they continue, they just want you to play along to save face for them, but it’s better for civilization (theirs and everyone’s) if you don’t put up with it.
